Queen's Christmas message
by HRH Queen Elizabeth III
It has yet again been a busy year as your monarch. I was of course up bright and early on New Years Day, ready to continue reigning over you all. This produced slightly bad language from Daddy, which of course is why I am in charge and he is not.
January was met with quite a
bang, when the sound of Daddy snoring weakened the ceiling, causing it to collapse when I was asleep. Although none of the large pieces of plaster hit me, there was dust everywhere, which caused me great injury when I later discovered that I had slept through the whole thing. Further injury occurred when I had to sleep in the front room with the royal parents for a whole week. The only good news was that Uncle David came to visit, during which time the new ceiling was mysteriously painted.
In March I made a state visit to
Centre Parcs, where I enjoyed regally swimming and watching Daddy make a fool of himself on the
slides. No ceilings collapsed.
Much of our work involves helping the elderly, and it has been a great delight to visit our grandparents, who, we are always amazed to see, are even older than Mummy and Daddy, although in considerably better shape. In early April we went to (very near) Sandringham to see one set of
grandparents and to help them celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. We also spent time with our super cousins Jamie and
Isabelle: people do seem to have a lot more fun when I am present. The following weekend we went to see our friends Gareth and Katherine marry, and once again I could see their delight that they had been
graced by royalty on their big day.
Also in April we
traveled to our overseas dominions, to visit
the other set of the regal grandparents. We spent a most enjoyable time in the
fine English county of Dordogneshire, and met lots of people who assured all concerned that I was "
tres jolie." France is certainly a lovely part of England and we look forward to being Queen of there as well.
In May we were baptised, which was a
lovely service, a great undertaking by Mummy and Daddy and my Godparents, and a super party. Many people paid tribute to my royal personage in the form of gifts, which caused some grumbling from Daddy, the sour puss. May also brought sad news. Daddy's grandma
Nana died after a long illness. I know
he misses her.
On 10 June we graced
another wedding with our regal presence, bringing joy to all. This time it was Jenny and Simeon, who waited years to get together and then chose to do it during England's opening world cup game. Daddy pretended to be my bodyguard, but all quickly new that he was really just listening to the game with his earpiece. Later that month he shot off to Edinburgh, claiming to be working at the Methodist Conference, but his expenses claim tells another story. Luckily Mummy and I went to (very near) Sandringham for a few days. Here Mummy made me sleep next to a
photo of Daddy so I would not forget his face: if only I could!
July was a very hot and busy month. It started with
another wedding - this one featuring two brides and no groom - at the same time as another England game. This time Daddy was very grumpy, even though they played an extra half hour - some people are never pleased. Later that week we were very pleased to learn of the birth of our cousin:
Hector, 1st Baron of Granville Square. We went to see him once he came home from hospital, and marked the occasion by crawling for the first time, thus ensuring that the attention remained focussed on me, where it belongs.
Later that month we went to visit Roger in Derbyshire, where it was very very hot, but we still had a
super time. We saw some
cows and swans and received waves from everyone on a canal boat. It is such a joy to bring some pleasure to people. We visited Chatsworth, which I think would serve very well as a country cottage.
August was another busy month. My friends Natasha and Britannie brought their parents to visit one weekend, then the next we went to Yorkshire to see William and Hannah and their parents. We had a super time at the
sculpture park, and taking in a variety of pub lunches in pretty dales villages. We even went to see a rare bird at Malham Cove. Then we went to (very near) Sandringham again to see some grandparents. We visited
Cromer, where over 1 million pensioners stopped the buggy to tell me how pretty I am. We saw a life boat, and then we went to
Walsingham, which was very pretty and I was able to make lots of noise right next to signs saying "Silence please." What fun!
After all this, it was a relief to have a quiet September.
October of course brought the highlight of the nation's year:
my birthday. I was given lots of nice shiny paper that was super fun to play with, and a lot of people came over to play with Daddy's Eye Toy.
November brought a visit from
Auntie Kate, who, like all true royalty, comes from Germany. We later went to Auntie Sophie's home to see our esteemed cousin
Hector, and to listen to Daddy and all of Sophie's friends singing very badly along to the Sing Star game. For shame!
In November I was also presented with my first
BAFTA for best performance as or by a monarch in a drama. Take that, Helen Mirren!
For
Christmas we will travel once again to our French domains. We wish you all a merry Christmas and a peaceful New Year. Now turn over to BBC 2 for Mary Poppins.
HRH Queen Elizabeth III
